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sky

your newest internet obsession
Roleplay Department Administrator
Sep 18, 2015
1,795
it really just is chaos isnt it

enjoy the circus fellas

pretty much all i've done on tnb since last october is get in these painfully dramatic arguments about these really annoying social issues. like yeah, i get it, people have to step up and fight for what they believe in. but i am not here for that. i'm not here to have to defend myself like i'm a politician on the world stage but that's definitely what this is made out to be :)

this past month has exposed that friendships here don't really matter because they're thrown out constantly due to these sorts of toxic disagreements. politics and people's real life opinions should be exactly that - real life opinions, yet time and time again we find ourselves injecting politics into every little detail that encompasses this community rather than focusing on roleplay or playing games

to answer your question, wester, i rated hoplite late because i've only ever seen him come out to make a major statement in tnb when it was in this sort of argument - other than that, he was always in stasis unless he wanted to give an opinion (normally negative) in one of the admin chats.

furthermore, i'm not going to argue with you here. why? because i like you, even if you don't like me as a result of whatever this is. the truth of the matter is that i like most of the people that dislike me and think i'm this sniveling political asshole that wants to maliciously fuck up people's enjoyment. even if i share a disagreement with someone, doing so respectfully also seems to not matter because the gravity of these opinions are so massive that you must want a certain group of people 'dead' or must want to nullify their existence entirely. not only is that toxic in of itself, it's only served to widen the gap in this place

i've been a pretty big progressive for like 4 years but i'm also a very forgiving person. i don't like to label someone as a transphobe or whatever else because of slight comments - i know for a fact human nature goes deeper than that. my defense of flower in hindsight itself has cost me some friends, but if i lose friends for sticking by my wit, then i guess that's the consequence. it's sad really because i enjoy talking to almost everyone here

honest opinion? this isn't worth arguing over anymore. not sure if it makes me the bigger person or not to leave it here but i rather would. i guess in a way i'm sorry to the people that my opinions have bothered (?) i've always been a strong lgbt proponent and none of my personal opinions would conflict with that other than the fact that i believe everyone needs to be better at handling their issues with others. yesterday is not how you handle a dispute, this isn't how you handle disputes either

not sure if i quit yet, i'm not going to stay somewhere where i don't feel wanted or needed and to be completely honest i get pretty much 0 good roleplay as of late so i'm really not getting anything by staying. guess i'm only worried about the other people that WILL stay, because my one priority on tnb as an admin has and always will be making sure everyone else is enjoying their time - it's just impossible to maintain this priority with the community at your throat all the time
 

wester

Kiruclanz 2.0
Halo Admin
Mar 7, 2015
2,271
time and time again proving to be an insufferable asshole to others unprovoked shouldn't constitute being genuine and earnest lol.

I'm sorry but I'm not going to sit and let you paint someone as shady and vindictive as hoplite as this angel who does no wrong.
did i say that flower? i made it pretty clear i was talking about /THIS/ situation. im not delving into the past because that's a whole different can of fkn worms dude, and i guarantee you wouldn't come out unscathed either way.

Alienating community members... give me a fucking break, thats a good one. Alienating community members is a common occurrence by a particularly unnamed group in this community.
i don't consider myself part of that group, but the funny thing is...that 'group'? cabala? whatever the fuck you want to call it? theyre not the ones pulling the strings at the top of tnb dude. im sure theyve alienated plenty of people in the past, but like i said. we're talking about the now, and we're down two devs and ten+ admins. whats the fkn point.
 

wester

Kiruclanz 2.0
Halo Admin
Mar 7, 2015
2,271
to answer your question, wester, i rated hoplite late because i've only ever seen him come out to make a major statement in tnb when it was in this sort of argument - other than that, he was always in stasis unless he wanted to give an opinion (normally negative) in one of the admin chats.

furthermore, i'm not going to argue with you here. why? because i like you, even if you don't like me as a result of whatever this is. the truth of the matter is that i like most of the people that dislike me and think i'm this sniveling political asshole that wants to maliciously fuck up people's enjoyment. even if i share a disagreement with someone, doing so respectfully also seems to not matter because the gravity of these opinions are so massive that you must want a certain group of people 'dead' or must want to nullify their existence entirely. not only is that toxic in of itself, it's only served to widen the gap in this place

i've been a pretty big progressive for like 4 years but i'm also a very forgiving person. i don't like to label someone as a transphobe or whatever else because of slight comments - i know for a fact human nature goes deeper than that. my defense of flower in hindsight itself has cost me some friends, but if i lose friends for sticking by my wit, then i guess that's the consequence. it's sad really because i enjoy talking to almost everyone here

honest opinion? this isn't worth arguing over anymore. not sure if it makes me the bigger person or not to leave it here but i rather would. i guess in a way i'm sorry to the people that my opinions have bothered (?) i've always been a strong lgbt proponent and none of my personal opinions would conflict with that other than the fact that i believe everyone needs to be better at handling their issues with others. yesterday is not how you handle a dispute, this isn't how you handle disputes either
i think its pretty far beyond politics like this man. people are going to be toxic and let their personal beliefs leak into their conduct on server. i genuinely really remember us being good friends skyrim, and while we stopped talking when you became an admin (you being busy, me becoming disinterested). i valued the shit out of our friendship, and i still do, but i frankly cant stand for this shit anymore, whether its coming from you, bennet, or dave. this place is toxic as hell, and i honest to god know you didnt used to be like this, but frankly i think you, and bennet, (and, no more than two years ago, me) very much enabled this toxic culture to fester in tnb.

is this where i wanted to air out tnb's dirty laundry? fuck no. i wish we could've hashed this out in the admin channel like civil people, but having this shit out in the open is probably for the best. you saw yesterday when i reached out to bennet, dude: i tried my absolute fucking hardest to be civil to you guys, but at the end of the day, the culture at tnb isn't going to change just because ive decided to adopt halo as my cause and rage against the machine for a couple days. my steam is always open if you want to take this there, but at the end of the day, im just going to stick to my guns, same as you.
 

sky

your newest internet obsession
Roleplay Department Administrator
Sep 18, 2015
1,795
i'd like to hear what i've done to enable this 'toxic culture'. i'm not denying it's existence but i also recall that when i joined tnb, we had literal nazis leading the cca and pedophiles running in every which direction. is that not toxic? what's so much worse about now? openly being anything like that gets you taken out instantly

if anything, to me it just seems like two halves of the same thing calling eachother toxic without actually knowing eachother. yes, the environment of tnb - and gmod roleplay as a thing - is wildly toxic, but i can't name anybody that knowingly enables this stuff with a big ol smile. i'm quite sure that EVERYONE regardless of being on opposing ends would much rather have this place united and not in such a shit state like it is now
 

Him

The Director
Dec 16, 2014
1,541
This is Johnny Sweetness. I'm throwing in the towel.

Say what you will about this, but I really have zero desire to play video games for the foreseeable future. When it feels like you're constantly running out of time, there's nothing more unfulfilling and wasteful than shaking the hourglass by playing video games all day. My resignation has absolutely zero to do with the current climate of the community, I just really don't want to feel like I'm being unproductive in a really important time of my life.

I'll be around if you guys want to talk, but I just really need to move forward with my life and stop being such a lazy fuckhead.

One love, baby mama.

e; I do not regret the amount of RDM I committed against Houston Whitworth. Fuck that guy.
 

sky

your newest internet obsession
Roleplay Department Administrator
Sep 18, 2015
1,795
i reckon i'm done too. at least for a little while

don't mean to bandwagon because as some ppl know i've been considering it for a while, honestly might regret this in the morning and delete it but regardless of what comes next i certainly don't feel like i belong at tnb anymore. lots of friends lost, little gained. an rp community shouldn't make anybody feel this shitty

i'm appreciative of the supportive friends that've stuck by me for 5 years - they're honestly few and far between. i've met a solid handful of friends at this place and i just want to say that even if i disagree with you on something tnbwise, i really do not hate you or mean to invalidate you. hope everyone understands that as this place moves forward. it's okay to disagree, it's not okay to do what we've done

like i said in the nice thread, feel free to add me on disc and talk if you have a problem you wanna sort out. no negative energy tho

ammo: what about the thingy
 
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sky

your newest internet obsession
Roleplay Department Administrator
Sep 18, 2015
1,795
I slept for an hour

I don't think I can quit with all of this going on. Maybe it's the healthier move to make but I know for a fact I'll be unhappy if I have to watch the recovery from the sidelines with no way to contribute

Thank you to everyone that was sending me love yesterday, showed me there's still compassion to be had here
 

Fury

Halo Admin
TRP Admin
May 29, 2015
371
I might regret this, but I'm out, sorry if that upsets things further but I've taken time to think and evaluate on why I'm still here in a community that for a large part of my time here has never really shown much regard or kindness to me until recent years. Sorry if my opinions on things have upset people further, and perhaps I've been insensitive to what's happening at the moment because of my past here. I don't want to turn this into me feeling like a victim post but in all the communities I've played at this is the only one where I'm legitimately afraid to voice my opinions on because of how people act to each other on these forums and outside the forums unfortunately.

Shoutout the homies at TRP, I had the most fun working with yall and helping bring a map to this community.

With classes coming up, I don't have the time or day to be worrying about this community or feeling paranoid about it like I've been for the past 24 hours. Reminiscing, I'm glad to have made the friends that I have here and I think its just time for me to step down and move on.
 
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