here are the descriptions of my most recent characters. I DO have the benefit of having a donator model to better represent what my characters looks like, I should note. these days, I like to keep my description short and sweet: give the most essential and distinguishing information and leave the rest to be asked/assumed. I don't leave all my information in one unsightly blob, instead trying to making categories of two-three sentences.
display line: what you'd see on an immediate glance.
first line: personal features not pertaining to any armor or weapons.
second line: armor and what's on it
third line: weapons
display line: what you'd see on an immediate glance
first line: personal features not pertaining to any armor or weapons
second line: how they're presenting themselves (demeanor)
third line: grooming
the description below is like my last description before I started using the more simple style above. this is what you'd probably be more inclined to use if you aren't rocking a donor model, since you'll need to squeeze more in to distinguish
YOUR male_07 from the
OTHER GUYS' male_07.
I still structure it the same way:
display line used to point out the flat cap (a trademark feature of the already well-established character, thus why I didn't use the display for any substantial info),
first paragraph used for the individual's descriptors,
second used for clothing,
third line used for weapons. it may be longer, but it's still a nice to look at and very understandable read (so I like to think) because it's basically the same as the others, just adding way more information.
this last description is some dude's from like 2016 (I just so happen to have found it while looking for the Daichi Tanaka description) and I'll throw it in as an example of a bad character description. it's not the worst that I've seen, but still a mess and holds a lot of throwbacks/unnecessary information.
to start off, pertaining to throwbacks, the display line uses the kind of structure that people used back in the days where we didn't have the luxury of having a whole box to fit our descriptions. instead, we only had the display line above our head and
that was it. you could fit a good sentence, two on some frameworks. as a result, people broke their character's descriptions into incredibly abbreviated versions of the most important information. it'd write something like this:
6'1 American | 200 lbs | Blk Hair | M4A1 ACOG | Kevlar Armor
these days, we
don't have to do anything like that because we have this
WHOLE box to use. it just looks really ugly and like a lazy attempt to cram in information without having to use any real writing skills. on another note, pertaining to having unnecessary information, don't shove quotes in anywhere or just anything other than what you are actually seeing or hearing when you're looking/around a character.
first line: details his clothes. nothing wrong with it
second line: talks about a tattoo.. that you can't see. why include it at all if it can't even be seen? just reveal that in a /it or /me if that time ever comes.
third line: used for injuries, but absolutely no reason to have shoved in all the IC information about how he got it/how it's mentally affecting them/etc. express that in your dialogue with other characters.
at the bottom are some facts. the only thing that I could really see as an acceptable addition would be some kind of indicator of their mood. what they like, when they were born, etc should all be something that your character is actually telling other people, not something that you include even though our characters wouldn't ICly know it.
generally speaking, just make sure to structure your descriptions well and keep all the frilly bits that people should be learning IC/just plain don't belong out.
honestly I feel like I've just gone on a tangent with this part since I have a lot of passion for descriptions but hopefully it's giving some constructive information.