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Reflections on a Comrade.

Discussion in 'In-Character Area' started by Rabid, May 18, 2017.

  1. Rabid

    HL2 Admin

    Dec 25, 2015

    I never expected you to get sent to Nova Prospekt. Not you.

    How many times did you get shot? How close did you come to dying time after time for the Union? For HAMMER? In the time I called you a Comrade it was easily five, maybe six. At least three of those times you almost died on the table.

    I expected you to die in battle. I'm doubly sure even you did. I don't doubt you wanted that death either. I don't think you wanted to die, but you couldn't imagine anything else.

    I didn't expect them to ship you off.

    I know you had no love for me when I went Rogue, and whatever bond of camaraderie broke that day in the canals when you put a knife in me. I know you must have seen hundred of units come and go - countless rogues who, exactly like me, realized what the fuck they were doing and made the smart call. I know I was just another enemy.

    But I still looked at you with respect. I still called you a brother, even if I probably didn't deserve to. I knew if I ever saw you again one of us probably wouldn't walk away from it alive.

    I haven't grieved properly yet. It's an odd thing to process, really. It doesn't feel quite right, to grieve for you now when you stood as my enemy. You'd have shed no tears for me if you'd have cut me down, nor those I love and cherish. At the same time, nothing is ever going to change regarding my past, nor regarding you.

    Maybe one day I'll take my car out down one of the coastal highways and let all of that out in privacy. I don't know if even Liz would understand it.

    I like to think they just executed you, rather than turned you into a transhuman. But like 318, I don't think you'd get so lucky. Not after your extended service. Probably a transhuman. Maybe we'll face one another again like you said, then. I won't know it, though.

    I hope one day you get the peace you deserve.

    I don't know how many people you sent to face what you now face. I don't think you did either. I don't think you dwelled on it, or even considered it. That wasn't a fate you thought yourself privy to. Not to say you deserved it. But it makes me wonder.

    I hope in those moments, 404, as you got led into whatever you got led into, you realized you'd been lied to all of those years. I hope in your last moments everything finally fell away and you realized the extent of what you'd done to so many people - innocent or otherwise. Units, citizens, rebels, all.

    I hope you realized what the Union have in store and I hope you cursed them right up until you lost the last part of yourself.

    I hope you didn't lose your mind a slave, 404. You were too good of a man for that.
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